Broken Babies and Dirty Diapers
by WitAngerandBravery
Summary: Sirius and James are left alone with Harry for 20 minutes, and in that time Sirius get's hit in the head with a toy snitch, Harry cries and James apparently kissed Remus... Anyone else confused? ONESHOT R&R!


_Disclaimer- I don't own HP._

**Broken Babies and Dirty Diapers**

"Okay honey, I'm just going to pop out to the store for a bit. I'll be back in about 20 minutes. Will you be alright with Harry?" Lily Potter said briskly to her husband.

"Of course. You and I will have loads of fun, won't we Harry?" The toddler ignored him, preferring his stuffed snitch to his parents.

"Lots of fun, I'm sure. See you later, and stay safe." And with that, Lily Potter gave James a quick kiss on the cheek, before leaving the building.

"It's just you and me, Harry," James said to his son.

"Prongs!" Sirius Black held out his arms for a hug as he walked through the door. "How are you, mate?"

James gave Sirius a very manly hug, during which he clapped Sirius on the back. "Tired. Harry wouldn't stop crying last night, and I told Lily that I'd take care of him while she went out."

Sirius shook his head with a grin. "And where is my little godson?"

"Right over-"

"PA'FOO'!" Harry shrieked happily, lifting his chubby little hands so that Sirius could pick him up.

"PRONGS JUNIOR!" Sirius yelled, swinging Harry into his arms. "I heard that you've been keeping your Daddy up." Harry looked up at him, green eyes innocently widened. "Brilliant job, keep on doing it." Harry giggled happily, and banged his stuffed snitch against Sirius' head.

"Padfoot! Don't encourage him," James grumbled.

Sirius shrugged. "Hey, I'm supposed to be the cool godfather. That includes encouraging him to do things that I would find hilarious. For example, Prongslet, that is Mummy." He pointed at James.

Harry frowned, and decided to use one of the new words he'd learnt. "No."

James grinned, and took the baby from his best friend, settling him against his side. "See, Harry's on my side." Harry gurgled, happy to be back with his father. He liked his godfather well enough, but Sirius tended to be a bit too impulsive… and childish.

"Bad, Harry! Baaaaad! You should be ashamed of yourself!" Sirius said sternly, snatching Harry's stuffed snitch from him.

Harry burst into tears when his toy was taken away, and James almost dropped him.

"Prongs! You broke him!" Sirius accused, wide eyed, ignoring the fact that he was the one that made him cry.

"I did not break him! You broke him!"

Sirius raised his eyebrows, as if saying, 'Do you really want to get into this argument with me?' making James scowl, and rocked Harry gently whilst humming a low lullaby. Harry's tears reduced to small hiccups.

"What is he doing?" Sirius asked, alarmed.

James shoved the baby into Sirius' arms. "You broke him!"

"I didn't break him! He broke himself!" Sirius said hysterically.

James slapped Sirius across the face. "Get a hold of yourself!"

"You're right, you're right. We need someone with experience." The boys looked at each other.

"Lily!"

"Wait, no! If Lily finds out that you broke our son, she'll hex off your balls and feed them to the Giant Squid back at Hogwarts," James said. "We need someone else."

Sirius' eyes lit up. "MOONY!"

"Wait, no, Remus is at a job interview. He'll get all sullen and moody if we interrupt it," James said.

"Okay then. Maybe he's hungry? _I_ get cranky when I'm hungry." Sirius said.

"_Accio _bottle." The bottle narrowly missed Sirius' head, before James caught it. "Okay bubs, open up." But Harry pushed the bottle away, bursting into tears again. James tossed the offending bottle over his shoulder.

"Bloody Hell! Make him shut up!" Sirius covered his ears.

"Give him the snitch!"

Sirius shoved the stuffed snitch into the baby's arms, but said child threw it back at Sirius, hitting him in the head.

"Prongs! Your kid hit me!"

"Shh, Harry, shh. It's not Padfoot's fault that he's scary, it's his mother's genes coming out." James patted the tiny child's back comfortingly.

"Shut up, you tosser. Sniff his butt. Maybe he's done a number two."

"No bloody way! You sniff his butt!"

"You're the father!"

"You're the godfather!"

"I am not!"

"Yes you are!"

"You're holding him!"

"Make him sniff his own butt!"

All of this yelling just made Harry cry even louder.

"Why on earth are you two talking about smelling Harry's bum?" Remus Lupin asked, amused, as he walked through the door.

"Because he won't stop crying!" Sirius said, pointing accusingly at Harry.

Remus rolled his eyes, and took the baby from its godfather. "It's okay Harry." He rocked Harry soothingly from side to side, and his cries reduced to tiny sniffles. Remus gave Harry a hug, and then passed the now sleeping baby to its father.

"Moony, I seriously want to kiss you right now."

"I'm sorry Prongs, but I don't think that Lily would appreciate me kissing you. She is, after all, your wife."

"James kissed Remus?" Lily joined the Marauders in the living room.

"Speak of the devil," Remus said.

"Why is it that you two always walk in on the conversation when we're saying something embarrassing?!" James exclaimed.

"Talent." Lily shrugged, before taking Harry from James' arms. "How's my little man? Did these guys treat you okay?"

"Erm, yeah. We were great babysitter's."

"Also, Evans-"

"It's Potter now, Padfoot." James reminded his best mate.

"Look, to me, she'll always be Evans, the redhead who you chased after for most of your life. Anyway, before, Harry was making these noises…"

Lily raised an eyebrow. "What kind of noises?"

Sirius hiccupped.

"That was the noise! He kept on making that noise!" James said, pointing at Sirius excitedly.

Lily and Remus rolled their eyes. "That's called hiccupping, darling."

"Sometimes, I seriously doubt your parenting skills." Remus shook his head.

"Hey Moony?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

**I have way too much free time on my hands. It is the holidays, and all I've been doing is reading fanfiction and writing fanfiction. I think that I might me addicted… Anyway, hope you liked! I got the idea a couple of weeks ago whilst watching a Doctor Who episode. It's the one with the 11th****doctor and the cybermen and Craig Owens. Brilliant episode that was.**

**R&R!**

**Love,**

**Silvs**


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